Alaska

im scared about going to Alaska more than anything that iv ever faced in my life before. im scared to move half way around the world and to go to a place i know nothing about and to live with people i know nothing about. im honestly terrified of going. when people ask me about it i answer in very sort of clinical ways, i detach m life from the reality of what i really am going to do. but as i look at the masters commission site and i read the blogs of the students there i start to understand how out of my league it all seems. all of it seems so far above any of my understanding and im scared and dont really know what to think about my up coming trip to Wasilla. i dont know if i will be able to deal with all that God is asking me to do. i know that if God is asking me to do it he will be with me and i know that he doesnt plan on me failing but it all seems so out of my control and that scares me. i know that i am very much a control freak when it comes to the future but that seems to be the only way it doesnt scare me, if i all have to carefully controlled. its probably all part of the lesson God is trying to teach me, to hand over control to him, well its really difficult God because as much as a love you i dont trust you. thats a terrible thing to admit but its true.