angery

OK so I'm straight up angry with Ryan. I'm so mad that i did the right thing and now hes all pissy with me. and i know that doing the right thing isn't always easy and i know that truly most of the time its not but argh I'm mad. i decided i didn't like Ryan and i didn't want to have a future with him and i wanted to leave all we had in the past. i know God is calling me on to bigger and greater things and i cant be hindered by my past. that sounds kind of mean but i dont mean for it to be. I'm not doing this cuz I'm mad or want revenge or anything like that I'm doing it cuz i know that's what God has called me to. i didn't want to lead Ryan on so i told him all this. i didn't want him to be under the impression that i still liked him and i felt that it would be better if i told him. so i did and honestly he seems really mad about it. and we had movie plans before all this with a bunch of friends and Ryan was my ride. hes really the only person who could give me a ride. well Randall could but its a big inconvenience to him but most likely now he will be driven me. he will be driven me because Ryan still hasn't decided if hes going to drive me. i guess after i said the friend thing he changed his mind about driven me. but he claims that we were always friends and he never treated me any differently than all his other friends before. BUT suddenly now that were truly friends he treats me like this. it was fine to go to the movie before now its suddenly not! what ! are you serious! this is such BS! i hate this its not at all fair! yeah life isn't fair blah blah blah! i dont care right now! i just for once would like to do the right thing and it turn out OK! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY I KNOW I MESSED UP BUT FOR ONCE COULD I MESS UP ALITTLE AND IT NOT COME BACK TO BITE ME????????? IM A GOOD KID ALRIGHT I DONT WHAT IM SUPPOST TO ALL!!! THE TIME! BUT I CANT EVER CATCH A BREAK!!!!
OK OK i know that its not that serious and my life isn't to bad but I'm just frustrated. sorry if this kinda rambled but i just need to get my train of thought out. and scarily this if the format in which i think, in other words all out of order and crazy.