you

some thing that has always bugged me is that you've never really admitted what happened. you feel so bad for cheating on me, but that doesnt even really hurt me. i always kinda suspected you did. when we first started dating i just had this feeling i dont know how to explain but it was like i could feel you were being untruthful but of course i didnt ask. how crazy would i have looked if in the first week of our relationship i asked if you were cheating? but i felt it and i chose to forget about it. its been behind me for a long time. what bugs me is that you dont understand what really hurt me in the relationship. ill try to put it in the most straight forward way possible because part of me thinks you never understood what i was saying. i feel like you molested me through out our whole relationship. not that i didnt do stuff with you willingly but i also think you molested me a lot. i also feel like you raped me, i feel like you took my first time away from me. that hurts so much more than the cheating. i deal with that everyday. it makes it hard for me to realize when a guy is a jerk because i dont understand that i have a right to say no. i dont say this cuz i want to make you feel bad that is the last thing i want. i just want you to understand. i dont even want you to say sorry. i just want you to understand where my hurt comes from. and im sorry i always seem to bring this up cuz i feel like i do. im sorry.