hair cut

i want to cut my hair sooo bad. honestly I'm ready to just take a pair of scissors to it my self and screw waiting to go to the hair dresser. OK well i wouldn't really do that cuz i know that it would look horrible but i have an insane desire to cut my hair as soon as possible. i have no clue why! a few days ago i wasn't even thinking about cutting my hair for a long time in fact i was trying to grow it out! but now i want to cut it soo short that the longest part is barely going to reach my jawline. i am easily cutting 9-10 inches of hair off (i should probably donation it to locks of love but truly I'm too impatient for that). iv always wanted short hair but for some reason the thought never crossed my mind to actually cut it short. now that it has though its taken over. i cant stop looking at the picture of the hair cut i want and i keep thinking over and over again about the things that i do and dont want in my hair cut. i keep thinking about what i am going to tell the hair dresser so that she can get it exactly right. i am starting to hate! my long hair. its becoming a complete hindrance in my mind. but I'm really sick of my long hair. i feel like i hid behind it, like it gives me confidence, its starting to feel like a security blanket. i mean if my confidence wasn't wrapped up in it than why would it scare me to cut it? cuz it does, as much as i want to cut it it scares me out of my mind. i dont want that security blanket any more i want to be just confident in me. plus i feel like my hair cut will fit me better. i like my hair how it is, its pretty for sure but its not me. the new hair cut is a little bit more edgy. its short and that back is almost boy like yet the front is still soft and pretty. so i feel like it will fit me better. I'm a tom boy for the most part but at the same time I'm still feminine. I'm not one of those weird tom boys where your not sure if they are a girl or a boy,no i am most definitely a girl! so I'm super excited about this hair cut!! I'm a little nervous about the bangs part because iv never liked bangs on me but i think with this hair cut it will be good. I'm thinking about just cutting my bangs tonight. darn my impatience!