fire works

so its 4th of July and of course their are illegal fire works every where. i was just watching fire works at my friends house, well kinda friend. we were really close in elementary school but of course people change and things happen and were not close any more. bottom line though she choose her other friends instead of me again and again despite the fact that i was the only friend who never betrayed her. so any ways whenever i hang out with her i end up being seen as the weird girl. the girl who has no friends, never leaves the house and is stared down by all her friends. she makes fun of me cuz she says i never go any where. yea ok i dont go a whole lot of places, i cant argue that. but most of the people i would ever want to hang out with are in Fairfax and i have to drive 45 minutes to see them. and i would do that every single day if it meant that i could hang out with them but thing is i have no money which equals no gas for my car and my mom doesn't love it when i borrow her car every other day. so that does not leave me open to a whole lot of hanging out time. and i would never hang out with her and her friends. her friends make me feel like a mutant, at least they look at me like i am one. first of all most of her friends are pretty and they dress in this tiny little outfits than barely cover their size 1 waist. and they ALWAYS hang out with guys, when your with them the guys are always comparing the girls in their minds. idk just the way they look at every one you can tell and i dont want to have to be compared to them. I'm never going to measure up to them, so that's the first reason i would never hang out with them. second reason is they are ALWAYS drinking or smoking or worst and i do not want to be around that. i dont drink or smoke so while everyone else is having a great time doing that I'm bored out of my mind. third reason i would never hang out with them is they are completely unoriginal. they are ALWAYS talking about the same thing, getting drunk, smoking weed, having sex, or the resent drama. well i dont care about any of that. its pointless and truly their lives are pointless. i mean what are they living for? that's sounds harsh but its true they are going no where fast. i dont want to get caught up in that idea of living for nothing. i mean i know i dont want to be like her so i shouldn't worry when she makes fun of me(it just means I'm doing something right) but the thing is it hurts it be seen as a freak no matter how much u love your inner weirdo cuz you know they dont love it. i dont know all i keep thinking about is my favorite type of fire works. i love the fire works who look like their nothing big but at the last second burst into beautiful sparkles. i think maybe (as cheesy as this sounds) I'm like those fire works. i might not look like anything great right now but just wait a second.