uc

i have a condition called UC. i dont know how to spell the big fancy words those letters stand for so yea. but its means that i have ulcers in my colon. i dont really like to talk about this cuz its super embarrassing. i mean its such an old persons condition but oddly iv had it sense i was 13 maybe 14. well that's when i was diagnosed with it iv had it as long as i can remember, seems like i was born with it lol. it really sux honestly. because of it i also have anemia (which means i dont have as much blood as other people). i have anemia because the ulcers make me bleed. so yea gross ummm any ways. when you have UC you have these things called flare ups which just means you have times when it becomes really bad when other times you hardly notice it. stress causes flare ups so if i get stressed it starts to hurt. other times it just hurts for no reason. like the worst time i was laying on the couch for two days hardly able to walk because the pain was so intense. i am supposed to take medicine for it but of course I'm stubborn. i was having to take over 80 pills a week and i just refuse to do that. i just cant live like that. i cant live my life dependent on pills. i know they help me but i hate living like that. its kind of like a double edged sword. i take the pills and its fixed but i am dependant on pills. i dont take the pills and i have this condition. also i know the longer i have this the more likely i am to get colon cancer. i dont want to get cancer but id rather chance it than have to take all those pills. i know that's stupid and ill regret it if i get cancer but....i just cant do it. for now I'm just praying that God will take it away from me. that he will heal me and i can be free of this. its not like he cant lol. i have hope that one day he will and i know it will just add to my testimony. one day i will be free of this but for now i have to deal with it.